Get to Know: the 23rd Annual Butterfly Gala Emcees

Interview with Sarah & Phil Bokovitz

How has Stewart’s supported you on your cancer journey?

Sarah:  Phil and I got married in 2018, and we kind of had an untraditional newlywed experience. My daughter Claire was born in 2019, and then I was diagnosed with cancer 5 months later. And it was a really, really scary time, and looking back on all the different treatments and surgeries that I’ve had, I really feel like Stewart’s Caring Place has been there for each chapter in a really unique way. So, when I was going through chemotherapy and getting a wig here; when I was having surgery and getting a Laura Allio mastectomy care package; when I was having radiation and coming to different support groups; and it kind of just went from there. And we’ve really utilized a ton of programs over the years. Stewart’s Summer Camp, the food pantry…I could go on and on just listing many things that Stewart’s has provided for myself individually and my family.

Phil:  There’s just so many cool things here, and there’s all these little core memories that are starting to happen here, and it’s awesome.

Did You Know?  Engaging with arts and crafts improves mental health and well-being across all age groups. At Stewart’s Caring Place, we offer creative activities during special programs like Elana’s Blessings Pampering Nights and Family Fun Nights.

How has Stewart’s supported your children?

Sarah:  I remember coming here when Claire was really young, and she absolutely fell in love with the place. It’s been something that she would rather come to Stewart’s than go to Chuck E. Cheese. And then when we had my son Benjamin, it’s been a part of his life since he was born because we were coming for different holidays and things. And now they’re going to be coming to Stewart’s Summer Camp. It’s such a place of joy for them, which gives me such peace of mind.

Phil:  It’s like, we started at Stewart’s for one little thing, if you will, and then it just kind of escalated to us using all the other programs. For us, it’s evolved as our journeys evolved of how we take advantage of Stewart’s and the resources that they have. And so, our kids – they have such a positive view of this place where, you know, cancer can be very negative. And so having a positive spin on it, when our kids hear Stewart’s name, they know that there’s some type of fun that goes with it.

Did You Know?  We offer Stewart’s Summer Camp to children ages 4-10 every June, July, and August for a week-long, no-cost summer camp experience.

Phil, after standing beside Sarah through her cancer journey, you’re now experiencing one of your own. What has this experience revealed to you about yourself and your relationship?

Phil:  The hardest thing for me has been, you know, having the perspective of Sarah’s cancer journey. And so when I kind of put that next to what my journey is, to me in my head, it’s not equal. And that’s where Sarah comes in to say — you still have a journey. And so, just trying to come to grips with that and give myself the grace that even a small cancer diagnosis is still difficult. With our relationship, Sarah’s been awesome with just flipping the role as caretaker and she’s got so much more medical background to know the right questions to ask and all that. She’s on all the MyCharts and is very diligent with that!

Did You Know?  At Stewart’s Caring Place, our Prostate Cancer Support Group is our largest attended support group — providing education and support to assist men and their loved ones in the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery process.

Sarah, during your diagnosis Phil was there supporting and caregiving for you. Now that you’re in remission and he’s facing his own diagnosis, what has this shift in roles been like for you?

Sarah:  It’s interesting to have been in the patient role, and then having to be in like a caretaker role, taking care of a spouse, not that he needs a lot of taking care of! But personally, when I was the patient, I had control over my emotions and my fears, and it was kind of like in my head, which was really, really difficult. When I was going through it myself, I had the control over my own pain, it’s more internalized. But when somebody that I love is going through it and I can’t take his pain away, that has been a big challenge.

Did You Know?  Cancer caregivers spend an average of 32.9 hours per week supporting the person in their care. Stewart’s biweekly Caregiver Support Group provides education and emotional support for those helping someone through any stage of their cancer journey.

What have you learned about yourself and your cancer journey that Stewart’s Caring Place has taught you?

Phil:  So I think for myself, I might have a tough exterior; I don’t want to have to lean on other people. And so what Stewart’s has taught me is hey, it’s okay to be vulnerable and to open up and to rely on other people It’s all part of this plan, in my mind, that I’m learning how to just open up and accept the help or the support, because it’s not my normal nature to.

Sarah:  When you come to Stewart’s, as cliché as it sounds, you’re really not alone. Whether I’m in Crystal Singing Bowls or other support groups, sometimes going through the experience is easier when it’s shared. Sitting together with people who are going through something similar, there’s a peace I have about it that is really hard to explain. Actually, I have goosebumps right now!  I think a lot of people, like we mentioned, are afraid to take that step to accept the help, but I will be the first to tell you, once you accept the fact that you need help, life and the journey does become easier.

Did You Know?  At Stewart’s Caring Place, free programs and services are available to anyone impacted by cancer – caregivers, spouses, children, and friends.